Versed Interrogation, Pt 1.
I swear and I tell you, I’ve nothing to hide.
Then I guess it won’t matter if I stand close behind?
I guess not…
- – - – - – You falter, and s’piciously so…
Suspiciously? Me? That’s absurd! Oh dear, no!
Defensive we’re getting, a sure sign of guilt.
Your stories don’t match, alibi is not built
Most solidly. I think you’re caught in my snare.
What?! You are mad! You really do dare
To ’cuse me of such a crackpotted crime?!
If you wanna play tough, then I guess it is time
To toughen the insentive to tell the real truth.
Try me. I dare you. I can take it, forsooth.
We can do this most easy, but you ’fuse to obey,
And for your intractability, you pay.
- - - - -
I had this idea, but I really had no idea how it would work, and I can't really think of an "ending" of sorts just yet. Any and all constructive criticism and feedback, as well as suggestions as how to continue, would be greatly appreciated.
I quite like it!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a conversation in rhyme and I think you did it very well.
I think the use of different colors for each speaker helped to make it really clear who was speaking, on top of the stanza breaks.
Well done, says I :)
Reminds me of Shakespeare... with a Southern accent. The curious phrasings of "forsooth" and "'fuse to obey" are a quirky touch. Makes me wonder what the heck sort of time period/place the two are in! :)
ReplyDeleteLike Marc/Eloo I like the separate colors. It's a helpful touch, without which I might have been a bit confused.
About fifth stanza I realized it was an interragation. That third stanza where it refers to "you" is what threw me off. I thought, maybe, the speaker was talking to ME. I actually kind of like that touch - but if you want to keep it between the two without... audience participation ^^... maybe there's a way to change it.
Right now I take it almost like a play, with two characters arguing and almost narrating eachother's actions. Maybe you could continue with the dramatic aspect and have... can't think of the word... cues associated with the actions. Perhaps minor ryhming couplets in parentheses to set the scene?
I don't know. It just seems like that would be a fun idea to experiment with - peotry theatre! :D
As to where you can take it.... erm...... I really can't say.
A very promising beginning, though, I've got to say :D
~Archi